Safe? sex

The question mark says it all
Image by Nicki Varkevisser CC BY 2.0 Cropped

We are told to do safe sex

How safe is safe sex?

What is safe sex?

Safe sex usually means having sexual relations (sex) with another person in a way that prevents the chance of catching a Sexually Transmitted Disease/Infection (STD/STI) or getting a girl pregnant. Condoms are given as the answer - but are condoms really the answer?

The implied message is that you can have sex and no bad consequences will happen to you - all you will get from the experience is pleasure. What an absolutely perfect situation (it appears)!


Oral sex
Sex using your mouth to stimulate another person's genitals or vice-versa.
Very thin latex rubber covering placed over your penis to prevent actual skin-to-skin contact with your sex partner. Designed to prevent semen from entering the other person as well as preventing transfer of disease from person to person.
New male condom (comes rolled up)
Image by Flegmus on Wikipedia CC BY-SA 3.0
Male condom unrolled
Image by Windchaser on Wikimedia CC BY 2.5

Street names for condoms

frenchy, french letter, wear a raincoat, wrap it up, no glove - no love, wrap your bait before you mate

How effective are condoms?

Condoms give reasonable protection when used properly and consistently and form the basis for stated protection rates. Typical 'in the wild' protection rates can be very different due to many factors.

Avoiding harm also means telling the truth: Condoms are safe and effective, but not 100% effective. The common practice of assuring people that they can only acquire HIV through unprotected sex is not accurate.

Even in the most recent and probably the best condom study to date by Crosby in 2012 there was only a 59% less odds of infection in the group which suffered “no errors” according to the authors. This less chance of infection was achieved in only 17.9% of the population group.

Situation Results
Genital Warts STD no safer
Herpes STD 50% safer
Gonorrhea STD 50% safer
Chlamydia STD 50% safer
HIV STD 85% safer
Pregnancy 86% safer
Summarized from Condom Effectiveness Medical Institute for Sexual Health

...the World Health Organization says condoms have a 2% failure rate when used perfectly and consistently. But the typical failure rate is much higher, at 15%, with the typical use of condoms.

Pregnancy occurred accidentally in 2 out of 100 cases when condoms are used perfectly and 18 out of 100 cases with typical condom use (over a 12 month period). See contraceptive success rates.

Add to this the fact that 3% of condoms break or slip off and less that 50% of teens 15-19 know how to correctly use a condom - the statistics above become even more grim!

Is oral sex safe-sex?

Absolutely not! You can get any STD through oral sex, whether you are giving or receiving oral sex (sucking or licking). Most people with a STD/STI do NOT show any symptoms - see the STD/STI page.

Where does that leave us?

From a physical perspective (disease and pregnancy protection), condoms do not have the complete protection we have been led to believe. Condoms DO NOT seem to make sex safe enough!

From a spiritual (soul ties) perspective, condoms offer no protection - see Virginity page.

The only absolute protection and best 'big picture' deal is to decide not to have sex before you are married. Caution - this decision will take courage!

Where do you want your life to go? Don't rely on chance. Be deliberate - you can stack the circumstances in your favor for a full and successful life.

Individual help

If you have further questions or concerns about the effectiveness of condoms, ask Dr. Mike, an internationally known Clinical Microbiologist specializing in STDs. He has worked extensively with teenage boys and contributed all the information and STD images on the disease pages on this site.

Get answers, get help, get smart - take responsibility for yourself!

Dr Mike is ready to answer your questions Image (CC0 1.0)

Copy and paste*  into your email client and tell Dr Mike how old you are, what country you are from and then ask your question. You will be emailing a medical specialist offering his time to help young guys. Your email will be treated confidentially and erased after he answers you.

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More information

Be smart on the web

This site might not help your personal situation. The purpose of this site is to give you information from other sources that you might not have heard before. That way you can make your own informed decisions about what can be complex issues in your life.

Every issue has different points of view and it is wise to consider all available information (including the author's motives ) to arrive at the best decision for yourself. All information from the internet (including this site) and media in general should be approached with caution.

Misinformation and true information often look awfully alike. The key to an informed life may not require gathering information as much as it does challenging the ideas you already have or have recently encountered. This may be an unpleasant task, and an unending one, but it is the best way to ensure that your brainy intellectual tapestry sports only true colors.