Masturbation

Masturbation is a word which polarizes people. On one hand medical, education and some church organizations treat masturbation as normal for guys.

On the other hand, some church organizations and counsellors see the results of uncontrolled masturbation and therefore condemn the activity as always being 'bad'.

We now have the benefit of scientific research to understand why guys are driven to masturbate and what happens in a guy's body and mind when he does. It is almost impossible to not masturbate!

Masturbation

It's sex-by-yourself, it's 'solo-sex'. Stimulating (usually rubbing) the penis to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. (slang - wanking, jerking off, jacking off, beat the meat, beating off, whacking off, fap, spanking the monkey, toss off, crack one off, flog the log, jerking the gherkin, rub one off, yank it, tug... and lots of others)

Semen

The fluid that comes out your penis during ejaculation. Sperm live in this fluid (slang - cum, jizz, spooge, load, wad...)

Ejaculation

In old Latin language it meant 'a little something shot out' and refers to semen coming out of the erect penis. (slang - cum, shoot your wad, spooge, blow your load, blast, jizz, shoot, skeet, splooge, wad...)

Orgasm

Intense feelings and muscle contractions associated with ejaculation. The 'high-point' of feelings during masturbation or sex.

Lust

Feelings toward others of sexual: craving; eagerness; desire; passion; urges

Fantasy

Imagining sexual acts with others in order for you to achieve ejaculation

• Do other boys do it too?
• Will people know I've been masturbating?
• Why do I feel guilty after I've masturbated?
• Why can't I stop doing it?
• How often is too often?
• Does masturbating mean I'm gay?
• Will I go blind from masturbating?
• Will I use up all my semen from masturbating too much?
• Will I go to hell because I masturbate?
• Will God punish me for masturbating?

Surveys have consistently shown that more than 95% of males engage in masturbation, particularly during adolescence (puberty) - some say the remainder are lying! Dr Dobson of 'Focus on the Family' notes that there is absolutely no controversy on these figures from any source.

Some surveys went on to say there was no difference in the rate of masturbation between boys brought up in a Christian environment compared to those brought up without Christian influence. The boys from Christian backgrounds did, however, often feel more guilt over masturbation.

Boys cannot fail to know about masturbation at a young age since it is a regular topic in the school yard and everywhere they go. (A 1998 Internet survey [1] claimed 50% of boys had masturbated by their 13th birthday and 84% by their 14th birthday)

If you clean up after masturbating, then no one will be able to tell - including a doctor. The only clue would be if your penis was red and sore from too much masturbation.

That is an extremely common reaction, and it's almost certainly physiological (i.e., physical rather than mental) in origin. For most guys, something just shuts their brain off to sex when they're done ejaculating. For many, this manifests itself in the form of guilt - that you were 'being stupid' (as you put it), or they ask themselves, 'Why did I just do that?' This is all normal, and you'll probably outgrow it as you get older. [1]

Some guys find less problem with the 'blah' guilt feelings if they only masturbate before they go to sleep at night. That way, the body, mind and hormone levels have many hours to chill out before tackling the outside world again.

There are scientific studies that show after you cum from masturbating, your hormone levels change quickly and dramatically causing the 'blah' feeling. Prolactin (the feel good hormone) takes over from Dopamine (the horny hormone) during orgasm. The problem for young guys is that masturbation only releases a quarter of the feel good Prolactin that real sex would release. That also means that the rapid drop in Dopamine is not properly cancelled out by the smaller rise in Prolactin - you feel crap!

Imagine if your hormone levels did not change - you would finish masturbating and be just as horny as you were before you started. Of course you would start masturbating again and repeat the cycle and still be just as horny. Despite how attractive this scenario sounds, it would end up worse than a chinese water torture. The only thing that would stop you from masturbating would be pain from the skin you have rubbed off your penis!

Understanding why you feel 'crap' for a while from low hormones is part of understanding your 'big picture' of being a young man.

An Internet survey [1] asked the following question about masturbation:
Question: not counting your childhood, what is the most number of days you've gone without masturbating?

The results may be slanted by the background of the people answering a survey of this type, but as you can see, the trend is that half the males could not go longer than a week and less than 8% could go without masturbating for more than a month!

The need to periodically release semen is so strong, especially in a young male, that the urge to masturbate is nearly unavoidable. Even if you are able to stop masturbating for a while (like a week), your body may respond by releasing semen at night in a nocturnal emission (or 'wet dream') [1]

The biological reason you can't stop masturbating for an extended period is that the sexual pressure continues to build within you because of the hormone called dopamine in your blood. The sexual pressure continues to build (whether you want it to or not) until you ejaculate your semen by some method. Some scientists would speculate that us guys are designed this way to ensure the human race continues to multiply. Your sexuality can't be ignored or turned off!

Probably. If you're used to ejaculating regularly, going without can really mess with your head. The results can vary - in your case it seems to have been rather pleasant, but others report almost a temporary insanity, when you're liable to do things and think things you definitely wouldn't otherwise. [1]

Dr James Dobson in his video 'Peer Pressure and Sexuality' explains that over time, the hormonal pressure inside a boy can increase to the point where even a girl simply walking into the room can trigger off an irreversible chain of events in his mind. The desire for sexual expression becomes so strong that he invariably masturbates later, resulting in the hormonal pressure then dropping again.

Over time, the sexual pressure builds again and the boy will feel compelled to express the sexual pressure in his body again no matter how strong his determination was to 'never do it again'. _{(paraphrased from the video)}

Every boy, without exception, will find the connection between eyes and sexual turn-on, whether they are looking for that connection or not. This connection often begins with a wet dream, which obviously is totally outside the control of any boy. After that connection has been established, it is permanently resident in every boy's brain. The next step is 'how do I handle this new side of my personality'?

You've got two options:

1. Control the fantasies and lust as best you can and masturbate when the internal hormonal pressure causes the sexual pressure to build. This option keeps your sexual nature as an important part of your personality in the context originally designed.
2. Feed the fantasies and lust and cultivate a sexual desire increasingly out of control and dominating every aspect of your life. This option leads to much more masturbation and then bigger problems with guilt and poor self image. This option usually involves pornography and sometimes leads to violating other people in an attempt to gratify the lust that increasingly dominates your personality.
   The more frequently you masturbate, the more fantasy you require to get an orgasm each time. This option becomes a vicious circle - the more you feed your lust, the more it demands to be fed!

Every guy will be somewhere between the two extremes when it comes to controlling lust and managing their masturbation. Your position on the scale will also vary a lot from time to time depending on circumstances, moods and hormone levels. The idea is to keep heading toward the left hand (green) column to control your lust as much as you can.

Not one guy will be able to say he has arrived at the left hand column 'control lust' lifestyle and doesn't have to try any more. It's a daily thing for all guys because of the way we are made up, so don't be too disheartened if you find yourself drifting back toward the right hand column from time to time.

Make the overall 'big picture' theme of your life one of pushing toward managing masturbation rather than let masturbation control you. Don't get hung up on the small picture 'failures' on the way.

Young guys in the early stages of puberty have a new 'toy' and can find it difficult to regulate their masturbation. This is possibly because their immature bodies have been flooded with with up to 30 times more male hormones that they haven't had time to adjust to yet.

Recently there was an unfortunate incident where a boy Matthew Burdette was secretly recorded masturbating (the court case found he was actually being funny by making noises and movements as though he was masturbating) in a toilet stall at his school. When the video was circulated Matthew was so embarrassed by weeks of merciless taunting that he ended up taking his own life. Read about Matthew's story

This incident shows that those who were doing the taunting were immature and had not come to terms yet with their own sexuality. Even if Matthew knew this it would not have made it any easier for him to cope with. So learn from Matthew's experience and be smart when you choose where you masturbate (or to be funny by faking masturbation).

Masturbation should be an experience you do alone. Masturbation with other males strengthens the link of sexual excitement directed toward males that might direct your sexuality in a direction you don't want it to go when you are an adult.

Many young guys compare erections and masturbate with other young guys out of curiosity. My thought is to quit doing this!

If you have been involved in 'comparing notes' then let the phase move on - don't get locked in to having the presence of another boy with you as your method of getting turned on. It doesn't necessarily mean you are homosexual/gay because it turned you on. It is generally more a passing curiosity phase for most guys, but some will get locked in to this method of sexual excitement during their teenage years which they may regret later.

It is very dangerous to put your penis inside an object with a hole (example a wrench) whether to try and enhance pleasure or not. If you get an erection, the penis gets bigger and the blood cannot return to your body through the hole in the object. The penis will not go down and requires a hospital visit to get the object cut off. See this newspaper article.

Every boy is created with a different temperament so it is difficult to define 'too much' masturbation. A few boys never masturbate (so they claim), others do it occasionally and at the other end of the spectrum, others do it several times a day.

Almost everything can be overdone. I mean, one cookie is great, five are probably okay, but a hundred? Now, the problem (the sin) here isn't the cookie and it isn't the eating, it's the excess! Remember that old saying, 'everything in moderation'? In 1 Corinthians 5:6, Paul is talking about sex and he writes, 'I will not be mastered by anything'. If masturbation is controlling you, 'mastering' you, then it's out of control. Boys need to learn to master their sexuality and not let their sexuality master them! [4]

Some guys use lubrication when they masturbate - such as Vaseline or hand cream or KY Jelly. Don't use soap or shampoo because they will irritate the skin on your penis and inside the pee hole of your penis. Lubrication also produces different sensations during masturbation.

It is a balancing act for every male: every teenage boy has fantasies and lusts and will explore the connection between these, their sexual nature and masturbation.

Lust, however is something that every boy must learn to control as he grows older. The bible advice is to 'flee youthful lusts' (flee youthful cravings, passions and urges) but what exactly is lust?

Even if you were able to stop all lust and totally stop masturbating, the hormonal pressure would still build steadily inside you to the point where all sorts of people become sexually attractive to you. People you never even gave a second glance before. At this point the act of masturbation requires very little fantasy. This is probably the ideal compromise situation to aim for as a teen/adult not in a sexual relationship.

If you are one of the many males who don't experience wet dreams, then masturbation is actually a means of self control. Masturbation reduces the forced sexual attraction associated with the increasing levels of hormonal pressure inside you (time bomb effect). After masturbation, mental life then returns to normal for a period of time.

This site might not help your personal situation. The purpose of this site is to give you information from other sources that you might not have heard before. That way you can make your own informed decisions about what can be complex issues in your life.

Every issue has different points of view and it is wise to consider all available information (including the author's motives ) to arrive at the best decision for yourself. All information from the internet (including this site) and media in general should be approached with caution.